Whatever this movie is called, one thing is for sure, it is dumb.
It is set in Alaska, but they never really take advantage of that and give us glory shots of the beautiful state. So some killer ants have traveled up to AK on a ship, then they migrate several miles, or at least some of them do. There are either a lot of ants or they travel very quickly. They begin harassing a small town, ol’ Burly Pines, Alaska by killing people. I think a few people get sucked into their only hill, which is incidentally nowhere near where they came ashore. Some other victims get eaten alive. That is unfortunate and a little difficult to fathom, especially when there are incidents in the movie when people have ants on them but manage to shake them off. If ants are aggressive enough to kill a healthy able-bodied person in their home they must be unstoppable. Unless they do not bite until they have their prey covered then on command…chow time.
So the main guy, scientist Dr Needstogetlaid goes to Alaska to help a friend I think. He soon meets the love interest who is a familiar face, and they begin to brain on the ant issue together. There is a recognizable Sheriff captain policeman and his annoying kid. The kid’s friend dies, you don’t see that often. There is a lot of bad dialogue, the CGI ants are poorly done and frequently reused.
The canoe scene towards the end of the movie is fantastic, the Doctor and his lady friend take a canoe down a brutally rough river stretch, it is a miracle the canoe survived…the stunt men earned their pay on that run.
A lot of shit is the movie does not make any sense. The movement of the ants is real troublesome. They spread from a remote beach all over the island but towards the end of the movie the humanfolk blow up a mountain pass road to stop the ants from spreading…as though the ants have a Dodge Caravan and will never get through the pass without paved roads. Throughout the movie we also see the ants underground, you know, where ants live. It is all very random. The lady, who might be a teacher, grabs a gun at one point for the final push. The gun is a shot gun, which is supposed to have explosive rounds…they are not. She seemingly kills one ant at a time with her stupid gun.
The end is dumb too, they destroy the town to maybe kill the ants. They literally do not know if the ants will drown but they destroy the dam and flood the town, then mention that it could take months for the water to recede. What kind of solution is that? Dumb. If it smells dumb and sounds dumb…
Keep in mind it is a made for TV movie, so it’s very tame. No blood, swearing or boobies. Still not awful but you could do better.
I give it 3 out of 5 stupid helicopter pilots.
Morning Movie Review 